“From homesickness to self-discovery: How studying abroad transformed my perspective.” 

I’d like to think of myself as a confident person. A girl who believes she can do anything if she puts her mind to it. I love socialising with new people. Especially people that I can learn things from. I’m someone who likes to push herself out of her comfort zone just for the sake of self-growth. Growing up in a small town in England, I’ve known from a young age, that I wanted to see the world. Experience new cultures and meet new people. Since I started my studies at Liverpool John Moores, they promoted global opportunities which I have taken advantage of. Last year I travelled to India for a month to a summer school with other Liverpool students. It was an incredible experience that impacted me massively. I felt so free and so open-minded after experiencing first-hand a beautiful culture that is completely different from my own.

I made friends for life and came home happy and craving more adventures abroad. So I applied to study at Abat Olibia CEU for a year and already after one semester, it has changed me.

 

I must admit it has been incredibly challenging as a British student and I don’t just mean the obvious obstacle of the visa requirements although that was a big impact on the stress I felt here! The whole process of getting here was so difficult and long-winded. I had to work so hard over the summer just to be able to afford to be here. Yet it flew by so fast. I randomly booked my flight on a Tuesday night and left the following day. I didn’t fully get the chance to say goodbye to everyone but maybe it was for the best because as I said goodbye to my crying mum, best friend, boyfriend and little brother at the Ryanair check-in desk, I knew this was going to be one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I couldn’t believe I was going to study in a city I’d never even visited before. It still hadn’t sunk in even after preparing for it all summer.

 

It wasn’t too far though so how could I get homesick right? It was less than a 3-hour flight home. I’d be fine. Well, so I thought. I spent my first week alone too scared to get on public transport because I didn’t understand it yet. Making friends proved difficult and I thought I’d be okay after the other English girls moved in but weirdly it only made me feel more homesick because they reminded me of home. 

To everyone who knows me at home, people see me as this confident brave person who will speak to anyone and do anything. But where did that girl go? Why wasn’t that version of me here with me in Barcelona? Nobody would recognise me if my friends at home saw me in this fragile state. I was too scared to leave the apartment unless it was with my flatmates. 

I know it's normal to struggle with the adjustment of moving abroad. But this to me, just felt pathetic. I had worked so hard to be here so why was I wasting it? I could make friends so easy at home but this felt so much more intimidating. But I kept reminding myself why I was here, to become a better version of myself even if that meant being on my own for a bit that’s okay. I was supposed to get myself through difficult times in order to come out better.

 

Nevertheless, life goes on, no matter how bad I was feeling I was here to study, so I needed to attend all my classes. My first day of classes at Abat Olibia I was feeling terrified but the campus was so pretty I couldn’t believe this was a university! At my home university, I study media production. I do all the creative things so this was going to be different taking more theoretical subjects. My first class was social media strategies and metrics. I had no idea what it was going to be like, little did I know it was the push I needed. The turning point came during this first class. The professor's engaging teaching style and the supportive atmosphere in the classroom created a sense of belonging. The class was a bit shy at first, but our teacher was so motivating. Everything she was talking about was really interesting and the way she got all of the class involved was such a great way for us all to come out of our shells. 

There was this one other student in particular who spoke so confidently and clearly. The way she presented herself reminded me of the person I was at home. The person I am beyond all this anxiety, and just like that after that one class of having a teacher who wants us to learn and a classmate who radiates good energy, I felt my spark come back.

 

At the end of September La Merce festival was something that interested me to get involved in. It was enriched with Spanish culture which is something I came here for. But my flatmates had different plans. I had felt so anxious and not myself those past few weeks and just went along with what my flatmates were doing because it was comfortable and safe to do things as a group. But in that moment I just snapped out of it. Instead of trying to persuade them I just said “Okay no worries I’ll go by myself” and my aim wasn’t to make them feel guilty in any shape or form, it was just to simply say you can do what you want, and I can do what I want. We have different interests and that’s okay.

So off I went. I was nervous but that same girl from class who had given me that boost had texted me she was there too and she said I could join her and her friends so I wouldn’t be alone. So, I went to the beach and WOW it was beautiful. I socialised with new people and we watched some live music. We all sat there in silence in complete awe of the setting we were in. It was magical we sat there watching him sing and the other played the most beautiful guitar playing I’ve ever heard. There was a lightning storm over the sea, a warm beach breeze, people dancing and laughing and my new friends put their arms around me not even knowing the impact they had on me. Any negative feelings I’d been feeling had just been lifted. In that moment I was alive. I was happy. Nothing mattered. I was on a beach in Barcelona with strangers and new friends listening to beautiful music watching the lightening over the sea and don’t even get me started on the fireworks! We all went and sat next to the sea and watched the colours light up the whole ocean. I was so grateful not just for this opportunity but for life itself.

 

I got a message from my flatmates not long after asking me to go meet them at the club but as I walked with these new people past a fun fair, I asked them if they wanted to go on some rides. And they did. So I ended up spending the rest of the evening laughing and screaming on the most fun rides. I was able to get back safely too because one of the people I had met that night, helped me get back because I didn’t understand where I was going. Everyone was so kind and welcoming and I realised I needed to put myself in more situations like that rather than people-pleasing. 

 

Just from that one class, it gave me the push for the rest of the semester to focus on the positives. The day after that night on the beach I got myself up straight away put my bikini on and got the bus straight down to the beach confidently by myself for the first time. The opportunity to study in Barcelona has been a privilege that has enriched my life in countless ways. It has instilled in me a passion for travel, a thirst for knowledge, and an unwavering belief in my own potential.

So as I give my seat up on the long bus ride for an Spanish older lady and I share my packet of crisps with a random pigeon on the beach, I feel myself becoming a better person. It’s the little things I’m doing that are all adding up and making my self-growth. It’s slow progress. But it’s progress and that in itself is something I’m proud of. From that night I knew studying in Barcelona was the start of something big.

Looking forward to what’s to come, here is to semester 2, 

Amber